Script for “The Lump” (Movie Within Movie)
Narrator
And now, back to the Early Late Movie! Sponsored by Do Do’s Fruit Pies. “Do Do’s!: Good ‘Til They’re Gone!” This week, “The Lump,” starring Chet Chinson and Ferrah Downy!
Int: Laboratory
Handsome Doctor and Sexy Assistant are talking, but both are facing the camera
Assitant
Oh, Doctor! I’m frightened!
Doctor
Don’t worry, Baby. It’s gone now, though I feel sorry for the poor bastard who crosses its path!
Assistant
But Doctor! Won’t it kill again!? It got Chris! And Spencer! It even got.....Robert! We must destroy it, Doctor, we must!!
Doctor
No, Baby, I won’t allow it. Destroying it is not the logical answer. God willed this creature into the universe by allowing me to fuse every color of jello with a strand of Sasquatch DNA. There must be some reason for its existence. I wouldn’t be doing my scientific duty to science if I didn’t try to uncover the truth behind this.....lump. We must find it, tame it and experiment for conclusive evidence.
Assistant
Oh Doctor! You promised me you’d keep your experimental experiments a secret and never tell me Doctor!
Doctor
Look Baby, I’m a doctor! Remember that!
Assistant
Oh Doctor! Hold me! I’m.....What was that?!
Doctor
Oh no! It’s.......it’s................................
Assistant
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!